Piercing Pens

Dear Mrs. Arroyo,

All of a sudden we see you once more, basking in your glory on national television. You’re even teaching us now to dance, feigning innocence from putting aside the real issues storming your administration.

But where were you Madam President when the peso plunged to its lowest low? Hiding behind your sentinels perhaps or thinking of a way out of this mess you created yourself. Don’t think for a second that we will forget or that you could squirm your way out of the crimes you committed against us.

“Ang galing-galing mo talaga Gloria,” a colleague quips.

Truly, I gotta hand it to you for still being there, wobbling in your pathetic throne.

President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo: “Ako ay hindi isang taong madrama. Ako ay isang taong masipag.”

I hope this statement is not a half-truth. We all know for a fact she’s a hardworking person, but as for the “hindi madrama” part, let me watch that “I’m sorry” speech again.

Senator Panfilo Lacson last week delivered his own version of the “true” state of the nation address (TSONA). Conrado De Quiros shares his own version today, and here’s a excert from his true state of the nation piece:

Hello Garci… Hello Garci… Hello Garci… Hello Garci… Hello Garci… Hello Garci… Hello Garci… Hello Garci… Hello Garci… Hello Garci… Hello Garci… Hello Garci… Hello Garci… Hello Garci… Hello Garci… Hello Garci… Hello Garci… Hello Garci… Hello Garci… Hello Garci… Hello Garci… Hello Garci… Hello Garci… Hello Garci… Hello Garci… Hello Garci… Hello Garci…

Meanwhile, Prof. Luis Teodoro, former dean of the UP College of MassComm, writes that Gloria Arroyo has former President Fidel Ramos to thank for that she’s still able to deliver her SONA today. (more…)

Here are two versions of “Why did the chicken cross the road?” I got the Gloriagate version on the mail today, while the Erap Juetengate version here.

President GMA: Hello Garci. Alamin mo nga kung bakit tumawid ang chicken.

Sec Gonzales - That Chicken is a an aberration and belongs to a ranting widow. She (the chicken) is too beautiful to be run over as it crosses the road.

Former Comelec Commissioner Virgilio Garcillano: Sige po ma’am. Gagawan natin ng paraan. Ipapakidnap ko ang mga sisiw. (more…)

Kris Aquino may have had problems with her choice of men and in her oftern careless remarks, but the girl knows how to fight back at those who insult her mother.

Last week, after former President Aquino called for Arroyo’s resignation, Justice Sec. Raul Gonzalez said Aquino should first take care of Kris before trying to fix the country’s problems. Gonzalez was obviously refering to Kris’s often problematic lovelife that must have broken the former president’s heart many times.

Kris was shown on TV last night saying that Mrs. Arroyo had indeed called her to apologize for what her attorney, err, secretary of justice pala, had said. Kris also revealed that Gonzalez recently visited Mrs. Aquino’s office to ask for a favor regarding his big problem at the Commission on Appointments. (more…)